My Default--Whities...

"Whod knew youd be into the whities" said Sharon, my somehow single, hott Taiwanese American best friend from High School... It is an interesting phenomenon how after all my ranting and venting about white people, white privilege and institutional racism I am attracted to white men... hmm... Could it be that Boston is white and that I have become used to white mediocre All american men? Is it that i have reached a plateau and have lost all sense of what attraction is? Out of all the places I have traveled to, and lived in Boston is indeed the most mediocre place for beauty. A friend from New Jersey, not New York City said "Boston celebrates and admires the most mediocre people I have ever seen". That opened my eyes and made me think that it is this same feeling that makes me stick out and exoticizes me. Why? Because I am not white, I am not a twink, and I don't fit into regular fit sized shirts...I mean once in a while its nice to see a nice blond blue eyed guy, or a white beefy brawny-man lookalike but there is more than that. In the process of being here about 5 going on 6 years and hopefully not more than that...my eyes and my perception of "beauty" for a lack of a better word, has been "all american white washed" in New England. I go to bars, and it seems like they used the same cookie cutter for almost all the men in there, of course you do obviously people like me in there that more than stick out in those pretentious crowds but for the most part I make up a unimportant .05 percent of that population... oh and my sidekick gio too... (but he likes them brawny-esque if you will). When I go back to NYC, I get looks. Not the oh-my--gosh-he's-going-to-mug-me looks I get in Boston from the typical MASSholes, or them white ladies that tuck their purses closer to their bossoms, but the "damn papi", "nice" and "hott" looks that only serve to reassure me that damn I am fine and I should have listened to momma' and moved back to NYC when I graduated from school. Focusing now on the posed question... or comment...despite all this white-normative culture that I have survived to an extent am I really into white guys? and why... I would like to say i turn a blind eye to race and all that but hey...it is impossible (and if you say it isn't BULLSHIT) I can't tell you the number of times I ask people where they are from not to test them, but because their traits are so beautiful. Their hair isnt necessarily blond, their nose isn't pointy, and their eyes might not be blue but they are hott, beautiful or whatever you want to call them. Youd like to sleep with them and have their children is the bottom line. Maybe it is Boston? or where I hang out in Boston? One thing is for sure, I dont do the courting and the bullshit pretentious shit, especially not at a dive bar. There arent that many blacks here, or non-brasilian Latinos (dont get me started on those now) but there sure are a whole breed and city of the white ones... maybe that is it... hopefully my mind will change for the better...not necessarily saying for the non-whiter but I will have more exposure to more people in NYC. You see a healthier choice for me altogether...this will be part of the process... New Year, New Resolution, and New Me...ok now off to a white holiday party :) yay! did I mention I Love WHITE wine :)