POC--Paranoia...Nah Its really real...even in NYC

the poc...ahem nyko supposed paranoia


i love it when any person comes up to me and tells me how great my life is, i mean i am almost white, i almost look italian, portugues or somewhat european... well good cuz i am... on the other hand i also love it when someone tries to dictate TO ME my own reality or dismiss my words when i choose to tell someone about a day in my shoes... the lady i mentioned with the weird look when i walk beside her... the white gay men constantly asking me where i am really from, and the twinks saying, oh girl please its not that bad, look at so and so (a person of color POC) she never complains...its sad to see people simply dismiss my opinions about this city and my reality, and what i go by day in and day out... sure i am privileged, obviously i am online, i am of lighter skin (although when tanned my middle eastern roots clearly stand out and i am seen as "terrorist" and i am search just enought to make me almost miss my flight) and that grants me certain priveleges unfortunately and i work them to the best of my ability and try to fuck the system when they can... obviously i am not the most radical nor the most conservative person, but i like to stand up for myself and some who i know would appreciate it at some point..."oh why cant we live in a color blind world? i mean i dont look at color" bullshit, it obvious people do this... hey i am not excluded from this...i live near projects and i havent heard gunshots but i am wary when there is a group of guys in parkas...they are in parkas and caps...regardless if i see their face and just their backs... i do get a lil shaky especially if its dark out...movies, the media and our perpuation of this... if we keep treating youth as criminals of course they are going to be defensive and look out for themselves...there is a reason why people dont like cops...same criminals all the time... and jails are a corporation...keep puttin them in jail and not educating them and damn you got yourself a fucking business...that will not depreciate because black and latino men will always be criminals according to the system...did i mention how much i love martha stewart show? NOT! although it would have been much more interesting to see it from jail too...stealing money isnt a crime... no of course not...but according to local ordinance hanging out in a predominantly minority community is... in groups of 2 or 3...lets target the naturally social populations. all this institutional racism that people either dont see, because the people in power are so good at keeping it covered up, or because they dont want to face it does exist...its not a paranoia nor an intensely ludicrous theory that nyko came up with...where has the original south end gone? the villa is still there, cathedral is still there, hopefully will continue to stay there but who knows...the gays invested in these areas and "cleaned" it up...by gentrifying the area...good luck jamaica plain... "oh but i love oriental de cuba" says a fellow white lesbian..."its my favorite latin[o] place to get my rice and beans because i am a vegan/vegetarian" .. have you been to the jackson square projects? i ask...oh no, its far (a 5-10 minute walk a hardcore hiker lesbian could easily do)...

"its not that bad", these words always resonate in my head when these people choose when and where to insert themselves in my life and then criticize or add their literal 2 cents if that...then they leave and instead of providing some kind of support or dialogue they choose to ignore and live on their lives as if the conversation never took place...and go out and get drunk with the gay lifestylies...as i often do...why is it always a threat to talk about these things? ask, learn and listen...listen...dont dismiss...yes to each its own...but be willing to hear out an opinion and not dismiss it...afterall it is my reality...everyday, for some others as well...

its not that bad... its not that bad....its not that bad...yea it really is...