The drama of my life. So it's true about friendships and rooming situations. On the other hand if it is a true friendship then all should go well and things should be understood, not assumed and communicated. As many as you know I love to text rather than talk…sometimes I will reject your calls and lie (yes lie) and text you back…"can't talk I am in a meeting" or something of that sort. Anyways my living situation has gone from worse to worser to worsest…mmhmmm just as bad as that was for you English majors.
At this point all other aspects of my life have congealed nicely but my living situation has made me ill (physically and mentally). I feel like I have been cheated and lied to. I placed a deposit (which I hope I will get back) before I moved in and gave my months rent with an expectation that it would be mailed as my portion of the deposit to the management company (which is what usually happens), 6 months later I come to know that the deposit was never sent and that I had been lied to. The money definitely came out of my account (no question about that) but it was placed into my roommates pocket for going out, a trip to the west and maybe some trips to the casino. Whatever or wherever it went, it didn't and hasn't made it to the management company's office (nor will it at this point).
Unemployment definitely sucks and I feel for those who are unemployed and their situation is limited because of skills, education or the institutional part (aka –isms). But if you honestly want to work, you could seek it out and in less than 3 months I am sure you can work at least doing retail if your classist pride doesn't get in the way of course, but hey getting laid off from the get-go probably fucked that up already anyways. And taking a sabbatical by the way is a choice not a forced situation where you have your own resources (and not dependent on other people's deposit) to live.
[--Bathroom Break--]
I am a spoiled child, not rich but was definitely spoiled. My mom tried to give me the best of everything and anything she could. I loved it and still love it when my mom does my laundry the night before I depart from JFK, because its closer and I stay over or when she makes thanksgiving dinner at HOME and takes a cab all the way uptown (from Jamaica, Queens) just to spend time with her independent boy. Being independent is another quality I possess and will continue to possess because I DO have true pride for myself and my achievements over the past years. I.E. just recently, although I had a very stable job (as most of you know) doing marketing for a non profit, I applied my ambition and interviewed for corporate and Voila! I am sitting at my corporate desk on my 5 th day at the job. I ended on great terms, no hard feelings or anything and no burned bridges. That is something to be proud of rather than make-believe property or fortunes. Lack of control of your own life and instability are not something to be bragging about, and definitely when you are lagging months and months behind, have roommates and have a claim to all these material riches.
So obviously there is something ticking me off right now. Could you guess what it is? Irresponsibility at the age of 30 and lack of commitment to oneself and the responsibilities of life. That is what is bothering me today. What keeps me sane? Having Kai (my mini-pinscher) who has way too much energy for me but she is my baby and I love her. Mr. K (someone who I am currently dating also keeps me grounded. His great energy and positive outlook no matter how pessimistic I am (weird eh).
Current situation: I might have to move back home to Queens because of all this (did I mention we are being kicked out of the apartment because rent is due and not mine obviously). That is if I don't find an apartment between now and Nov 15th. Karma exists so those who fuck also get fucked. Play and you will be played. I have Kai my love and beautiful sanity (like her mom [ME]). I am working at Scholastic and pretty happy after the first week, obviously all I can say, and happy with Mr. K.
Thanks for hearing me out! I needed it! J Write back! Any solutions? Suggestions?
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